MELANIN MARVEL APPAREL COMING SOON.....

A Seat at the Table

As a young black women working in the business sector, I oftentimes find myself conflicted on whether or not I belong. It's overwhelming to know that many times no matter how smart you are, no matter how hard you work, and no matter how much time and energy you invest, many times you still will never get the pay, recognition, or respect that you deserve in corporate America. You will find yourself getting lost in whether or not you should even be there to push someone else's agenda, because you know your worth. We all want to progress in our careers but there are times we find ourselves holding our tongue for the sake of allowing others to push their agenda,  many times when you know you have more to offer and are more qualified. I just recently really had this feeling started to hit within the last year or two. It used to mean something to me to be promoted, it used to be something I longed for and worked hard at and many times if I was overlooked for opportunities I took it very personally. Over the last year or so, I have begun to ask why? I notice at work that at the end of the day no matter how hard you work, when it comes to getting recognized for career development and promotional opportunities that people are only going to give you enough to keep you content many times. So then why do we care? Many times these organizations are only going to allow us to get to a certain level on their terms to keep us at bay. I have seen them use us and then move us on out the way so many times it almost makes you leary of anything that goes on. The workplace is a dangerous spot for us. When you look around and the only other person in the room that looks like you is the individual running the technical equipment in the backroom for a meeting it does something to you. I had a colleague of mine one time tell me that I should be excited to finally be getting a seat at the table and I really had to think hard about that. It reminds me of Solange's album "A Seat At The Table"... this album in general was an ode to us loving ourselves and stepping into who we are as a community without fear of what others would think. The song F.U.B.U from the album talks about it being our time to shine and stepping into our light. Solange also had a few interludes in the album from Master P, the mogul. In one, he mentioned how a man offered him $1 million dollars one time in a business deal and how he had to turn it down and think to himself, if this man is offering me a million, I must atleast be worth like $40million or more. The moral behind that, they are never going to offer us what we are worth so we need to take matters into our own hands. In another Interlude called "No limit" he speaks about his grandfather who was in the military and said "those people are never going to do anything for us". He told him that he needed to start his own army and that's the mindset he always took into his business dealings, that he had to take matters into his own hands to build his own generational wealth for his family. He was asked why he named his company No Limit and he stated it was because there was no limit to what we can do. That's powerful, what I take from that is that many times we need to take matters into our own hands, build up our own companies, don't let others tell us where we should fit in and just accept that. We are meant to shine and excel in our own right and it is our job to build up our own. Tyler Perry gave a very inspirational speech at last years BET awards, he started off talking about helping others cross. With this, he mentioned how black actors and actresses were having trouble finding work in Hollywood so this is why he used his platform to make sure they were able to work. He also mentioned how many people were complaining about the Oscar's being so white, which we all know they are. Black actors and actresses are never acknowledged at the same level as the white ones are. What he took from this was that while everyone else was sitting back wondering why the Oscar's weren't going to acknowledge them like they should he was going to create his own outlet for black actors and actresses to have work and be recognized, this was the main premise of him building his own recording/sound studio down in Atlanta, GA.  He didn't wait for a seat at the table he created his own. He created his own lane and hires his own people and is not waiting on America to let us in where they see fit. This is the same premise behind the creation of HBCUs, networks like BET and Radio One. When the doors are closed to us we have to create and support our own. This is the same approach we must take into the workplace as well as when move in our own business dealings, we need to go out and grab what is ours because if we wait around for recognition from them we will always be waiting. My goal for this platform is to be a repository to advertise and uplift black business, create our own table, not beg to be at one that really doesn't want us there in the first place. Shirley Chisholm, first black female Presidential candidate said " if they dont give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair". I say " If you do not have a seat at the table, create your own, and eat" .

Distorted Views.....How It All Began

Almost a year ago a vision was put on my heart, I believe for a few different reasons but for one that stood out to me in particular. For starters, my then four-year old seemed to be going through a crisis. To hear my beautiful brown girl say she doesn't want to be brown was saddening to me to say the least. I am a dark skinned black woman from a family of dark skinned as well as lighter skinned females so to hear her say that hurt. My daughter was in Pre-K at the time at a private Catholic school. The school she attended mostly consisted of Black and Hispanic students,  so she couldn't have gotten this mindset there. During this time she was very heavy into Barbie. She was into the whole nine yards, the dolls, the fashion,  the glamour, the dreamhouse, the movies. I am one of those mom's who wants their child to see characters that they can relate to in life. Barbie really isn't it. She has one or two brown friends, the most are white like herself. They are fashionable, glamorous and well liked by everyone, what little girl wouldn't want to be like them. Atleast in this day and age there are options to get the brown dolls, which were the only ones I would purchase. Sometimes she would tell me " that's not the real Barbie", or "I want the white one". This really concerned me. Is my child going to be one that dislikes her black features? Is she having issues this early in life with self love? What do I do about this? How do I help her love herself? Also, she would say " I want to be the same color as daddy". So her dad is light skin ( high yellow we would call it) and I am dark skin, my daughter is right in the middle, to be expected. So sometimes I wondered if she relayed having light skin as a connection with her dad, that wouldnt be so bad, but her comments continued.  It bothered me so much that I asked my counselor about it. She stated that this was normal for young black girls, stated that they all went through a faze where they idolize being white. I was taken aback by this. I asked if kids of other races go through the same thing, she said not so much, they can see people that look like them everywhere they look on TV and in the media and in cartoons. She had a point, so now I had to make it my business to make my babygirl understand how special her being brown is. She's always known she's beautiful but I believe she had a distorted view of beauty due to what she sees in our world. Our world will lead little girls to believe they are not good enough,  pretty enough, or smart enough. They will lead them to believe their hair is not long enough, their facial features are too prominent, when all of these things are what make us great. I made it my mission from here on out to make sure she knows how great she is, and it is a thing called Melanin that makes her marvel, and there The Melanin Marvel was born.